The way I see it... if we were able to see it in perspective, relatively to other terrible things that happen - if we seen this as a highly unfortunate something like 20% bump in the murders that year - there would be a reaction for sure - such a jump in murder rate is a very bad thing! But it wouldn't have started two wars, damaged the economics, terrified the people, and resulted in some loss of freedom - which is what terrorists wanted. We don't want the lives lost to be lost in vain, but we surely should want the terrorism to be in vain.
When we mourn lives lost in 9/11, but don't equally mourn greater number of lives lost to random drunk idiots with guns, that elevates Bin Laden too far above the plurality of drunk idiots. That makes him so much more than n times the drunk idiot. Bin Laden surely does not deserve that.